Lighter by Gia Riley

Author:Gia Riley [Riley, Gia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Lighter
Publisher: Gia Riley
Published: 2015-02-16T05:00:00+00:00

“I GUESS THIS WAS A mistake.”

Sobbing, I slide down the closed door into a heap on the floor. He could have said anything to me and I would have been okay. Anything—except that. Like a knife slicing my skin open, his words gut me. Kipton’s words are just like his.

But he’s not.

I’m too scared to want him, yet terrified that if I walk away; I’ll never feel the way I feel when I’m with him. “We aren’t a mistake, Kipton.” I cry into my hands. My body shakes from the pain of his words. He doesn’t know what I’ve lived through. He doesn’t know the emptiness inside me and I don’t know how to let him in.

What have I done?

Maybe I’m the one who made the mistake.

I kicked him out.

Crouching tightly into the corner of my room next to the door, I hyperventilate. Nobody understands. Love has always been my number one enemy and now that I met Kipton, I don’t know how to find acceptance. I’ve spent so many years hating, I’m not sure how to do anything else. Because I do—care about him. Yet I’m petrified of the backlash love has shown me over the years—of being let down and dismissed time and time again.

I take deep cleansing breaths through my nose and out my mouth. My chest isn’t quite as tight—my fingers only slightly tingling. Replaying Kipton’s gentle touches in my mind over and over, my heart rate decreases, the sweating stops, and finally my anxiety levels out. I rest my head against the wall and the tears return without any provoking. But I’m not spiraling with anger this time. No, this time, I’m simply sad. It’s over.

The door opens and I’m shifted farther to the side. Cara slips in quietly. I should move, but I don’t have the strength.

“Sophie, what’s going on? Where’s my brother?”

“He’s gone,” I whisper.

She sits down on the floor next to me. “What happened? Why are you crying?”

Unsure of what to tell her, and not willing to have another panic attack, I have to get out of the room. Standing up, I grab my bra from the bed. Replacing it, I put on my running shorts and a tank top. The only thing that will take my mind off the past hour is exercise. Kipton’s gone and that’s not going to change.

“Sophie, answer me. What’s going on?”

“I’m going for a run.”

“Are you allowed to do that?” She questions.

“Does it matter?”

“Sophie. Of course it matters.”

Grabbing a sports drink from the small fridge, I chug it before I leave. I’ll need it to get my body through the workout. “I’ll be back later. I need some fresh air.”

“Okay,” She responds quietly. I pass Drew on my way out and am thankful Cara has him. If either of us deserves happiness, it’s her.

Once outside, I pause to look around, deciding which route to take. Still not entirely familiar with the town, I do my best to remember which way will avoid the wrestling house while still getting me to the gym.

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